If you've read my previous posts you know that my husband is being transferred within his company and we will be moving in the coming weeks. It's just a stressful time and a time filled with questions and a LOT of waiting.
The cool thing is that I'm not worried. You know that children's Bible song "I've go the joy, joy, joy, joy, down in my heart!"? Have you ever heard the verse "I've got the peace that passes understanding down in my heart!"? It's a cool verse and it is my testimony lately. I do have peace in the midst of uncertainty and stress.
The not-so-cool thing is that I am so unfocused and distracted. I find my mind wandering to the "what-ifs" and find myself trying to plan out the next few months... which is impossible right now. There isn't a plan to be made until we have some questions answered, so thinking through it all over and over is pretty pointless. But it is involuntary for me right now... my mind will wander and then all of a sudden I'll snap back to reality and try to remember what I was doing - ha!
It's hard to explain how I can be distracted and stressed, but not worried. I assure you that it's not my doing, but God's. Even in the midst of my planning and distracted "what-if" thoughts, I know... I KNOW that we are going to be fine. I know that God has a purpose and a plan in all this. He's just choosing not to share it with us yet :-)
We are still sad at the prospect of leaving the people we love, our kids school, our church, my playgroup, and I could go on... it is just sad :( I think that is why I have such a need for a plan. A plan is a lot easier for me to focus on than the goodbyes we will be having to say all too soon. I know that they won't be forever goodbyes, but it will still be difficult for us.
I am confident that we will look back on this time in our lives and remember it as a difficult time, but I am also confident that we will look back on this time and see where God's hand was on us the whole time... directing us and guiding us toward a purpose we cannot see right now.
I have that confidence... but it doesn't take away the fact that this is hard.
So... that's where I am.. honestly :-)
Be blessed!
