How Do I Do It?

When I sit down and put pen to paper and list all my responsibilities I can get overwhelmed just trying to remember them all. Aren't most of us that way, though? I guess that's why we don't do it very often! I had a brief thought to try to make a list here, but got overwhelmed just thinking about it!

My life is full and I love it! I have my marriage, 5 kids, church activities, school activities, sports activities, friends, and on and on. People ask me how I do it and I'm never sure how to answer that question, but I give it a shot if they really want to know!

One key thing to realize is that what works for one family doesn't work for every family. I remember looking at women who I thought were amazing and "had it all together" and wanting to be just like them. Over time I realized that "having it all together" is relative and is really an illusion a lot of the time. I also realized that I am not those women! I have to do what works best for me and my family. So, I should get to know them and learn from them and then take that information to heart and apply it in a way that works best for my home. Easier said than done, though!

Managing my home is more challenging during some times of the year than others. But on the average day, here are some things that help me:

--Prayer. It may sound like something people just say, but I mean it. My faith is important to me and carries me through.

--Saying no! If I am asked to do something that doesn't line up with what is best for my family, even if it is a good thing, I have to say no. This gets easier each time I do it.

--Simplify. My two year old does not need a room full of toys and my 7 year old does not need 30 outfits or 7 pairs of shoes (neither do I!). We keep what we need and give the rest to other people. (We love hand-me-downs and get them a lot!) This helps with clean up time and laundry. The less we have the less there is to clean up and wash. Please do not think that my children don't have any toys or clothes. They have plenty and we still have toys that aren't really played with other than to dump them on the floor. That's apparently a two year old thing! But simplifying our home has played a key role in getting on top of managing it.

--Limits. My children are limited to one "sport" per school year. We feel it is important to be at home as a family for supper reasonably often and that is nearly impossible if our children do more extra-curricular activities than this. My 10 year old boy and 7 year old girl will be playing soccer this year, and my 5 year old girl will be taking a ballet class. The 2 year old and 1 year old boys aren't old enough yet! As my children get older I realize this will get harder because of school clubs and other things, but we have set a precedent in our home that our kids understand. They may have to say no to some things. And, really, that's okay.

--Planning. I am a calendar person! When a note comes home from school that a function is coming up, it immediately goes on the calendar. I also keep a master shopping list and if a note comes home asking me to bring an item, it immediately goes on the list. The only problem with this is that I do my shopping once a week, so if it's needed more quickly than that I have to have my husband grab it on his way home from work. That doesn't happen often, though.

--Meal planning. Every Monday evening I sit down and plan all the meals through the next Monday evening so that I can have my shopping list ready to shop on Tuesday morning.

--Flexibility. My husband has a job where he can get called in last minute, so sometimes I have to improvise when it comes to getting everyone where they need to go. It stresses me out! But I have (sort of) learned to be flexible. Most of the time my husband will run the kids to their sports activities as much as possible so I can get supper cooked and the other children bathed.

--Willingness to change. If my life is a struggle and something we are doing isn't working, my husband and I figure out what can be done to fix it... and we do it. Waking up every day dreading what the day will bring is just not a way we are willing to live on a regular basis, so we do what we can to change it when that happens.

I could probably go on, but there is only one more thing I simply have to mention and most days is what determines what kind of day it will be... and that thing... is ATTITUDE. My attitude is key. For one thing, attitude appears to be contagious. If I have a rotten attitude it doesn't take long before my husband and kids share that attitude. Then the day tends to go downhill from there.

Confession time! Quite honestly, there are several things that trigger a bad attitude in me. Hopefully that's not just me! It is somewhat freeing to know what my triggers are so I can be on guard. My biggest trigger is being late. I can't stand to be late!!! If I think I'm going to be late I'll start yelling at the kids to hurry and getting all huffy and angry. It's not pretty. I'm improving a lot in this area, though! Mostly because I make sure I'm not late, but if something crazy happens and I will be late... well... I'm working on it! Other things that completely ruin my attitude are negative, complaining people and things like flat tires or the internet going out.

I am learning, though. I am learning that it is impossible to be a successful wife, mom, church member, or friend if I have a bad attitude. So, when things start to go downhill like it did today when I was almost late picking my kids up from school because my 2 year old had hidden my keys in his toy box... I take a deep breath, pray, and ask God to help me.

I am thankful for my full life! There is never a dull moment... that's for sure!

Just Stuff..

I was all prepared to write some inspired post on patience or decision making or something "important" like that, but the words just would not come, so... I'm just going to let y'all know what's going on :-)

Life goes on in the midst of decision making and big life changes... my family still needs to eat and school is still in session and laundry still needs to be washed, dried, folded, and put away (laundry is my least favorite chore! - ha!). For several days I avoided everything but the bare minimum of the household chores, but then my husband ran out of clean underwear - ha! So, back to it!

I made a doctor's appointment today cause I've been having some strange symptoms. I couldn't get in for a couple weeks, but I will hopefully get some answers then. It is entirely possible my symptoms are all stress related, though.

My older two kids had their first soccer games. They both lost, but still had fun :) My son's game was really close and the other team scored at the last minute. My daughter's game wasn't even close. They played hard, though, and enjoyed themselves :-) My son is actually a pretty good soccer player. My 5 year old started a ballet class out at MCC and we are in love with her instructor :) I loooove her accent and she is great with the kids. My daughter isn't showing any signs of raw talent, but it's still early... and she's having fun :) Can you tell that fun is our goal with our extra-curricular activities? :-)

My Sunday School class is doing something really exciting! We are starting a downtown Bible Study called City Gate. It will start out being one Saturday night a month and is open to everybody, so if you are interested in more information let me know! The first one is Oct 23rd at 6pm at Union Station in the upstairs meeting room. It will be great! Please come :)

I should go fold some clothes... have a great day!

Tomorrow

Well, the saying "you never know what tomorrow holds" is very real in my life right now. We got news that my husband's plant is shutting down permanently. We will be moving soon. He'll be working at a different plant within the same company.

How is it that one moment everything is rolling along just great and then all of a sudden "BAM!" everything changes?

It's not all that surprising I suppose. It's happened to us before... and it will happen to us again. That's just life. That still doesn't make it any less shocking when it happens, though.

This will be a hard and sad time for our family. We have sooo many people that we truly love here. We've invested our lives here. There are so many people we will miss terribly.

That being said, anyone who knows me well, knows that I'm not the negative wallowing type, so.... I'm about to make a list of things that have blessed me during this time of confusion....

---We still have a job! My amazing husband is great at what he does and an asset to the company... what a huge blessing! A move is better than being unsure of whether we'll have a paycheck coming at all anytime soon. There are many people in that boat and I'm thankful we're not in it. I love you sweetie!

---We feel so incredibly LOVED. It's not good that the people we love are sad :( I don't want them to be sad... but they are sad because they love us and don't want to see us go. It just means so much to me that we have been blessed with such amazing friends, church family, and school family here in Meridian. From the moment we started telling people what is happening, we have received an outpouring of love and encouragement. We are blessed.

---Our marriage is strong. My husband really is my best friend. We are there for each other. Yesterday was a roller coaster... one moment I was weak and sad and he held me, the next moment he was sad and I held him... then there were the moments we were both sad and we held each other. I cannot imagine what it would be like to go through a difficult time without him.

---God loves us!! Y'all know I'm very real about things... I'm not going to gloss over the negative in a way that makes it seem the negative isn't there at all. I have questioned why this is happening and I have felt frustration and anger and confusion. Yep, I have. And I will again, I'm sure. But at the end of the day, I trust God. He is sufficient. Thank you, Jesus, for loving me!

So... there are a few of the positives in my life right now. I am not naive enough to think that the negatives won't get the best of me in the weak moments, but with the support and love of my friends and family we will be okay. God is faithful, even when He doesn't make sense to us in the moment.

I'll post more on our move later :-)

Update on Sugar :-)

Well, it's been over a week since my last post and I still haven't had sugar!!! This is huge for me... huge. I'm not doing low carb stuff or anything... I'm still eating fruit, but I am not eating any sugary snacks or junk. I also am not drinking sugary drinks, which isn't as huge because I'm really not a fan of sugary drinks other than a certain punch I make and I just won't make that!

The really big test for me with this was yesterday. One of my daughters turned 7 yesterday! Happy birthday sweet girl! Anyway, I was taking cupcakes to her classroom at school to celebrate. I should say that birthday cake is my biggest weakness when it comes to sweets... I LOVE birthday cake... homemade birthday cake with buttercream icing... and this was it! Well, I at ZERO cupcakes! And I licked NO icing off of spoons and beaters while I was cooking. NONE.

This may sound kind of childish and silly for me to make a big deal of this, but it's really a big deal for me.

I'm not going off processed sugar permanently, but I plan to stay off of it for a little while. The cravings are a lot better than they were the first few days and my mood is a LOT better. Lots better. Which is a good thing :-)

So, I'll keep y'all updated as to my progress with this.

Soccer is starting up! It's going to be interesting! We already have a scheduling conflict... two kids have practice at the same time at different fields (different ends of town). Thankfully my husband can help me that day, but I'm praying it's not a sign of things to come!

It's going to be a great year!

What to say?

It's been a while since I've posted, so I feel the need to update :)

I'll just be honest about my life....

I just started typing up three different posts but couldn't figure out how to say what I wanted to say without sounding rude, so I decided to save them for later :)

Life is going really well! All three of my older kids are loving their classes this year which is helpful to a momma's heart :) Middle school has proven to be better than I expected it to be, which is wonderful! My oldest is enjoying it so far :-)

My mood, on the other hand, is not great. I have PMS and have stopped eating processed sugar... those two things combined make for one nasty mood. I'm not quitting sugar for good, but my sugar intake was out of hand, so I'm detoxing from it for a little bit. I've done this before and once the first few days of "detox" are over I feel much better and have more self-control about sugar. To clarify, I'm not doing any kind of detox program... I'm just not eating processed sugar and making sure I drink lots of water. So.... I'm grumpy!

Thankfully, I have a wonderful husband who I can be honest with and who will support me in times of grumpiness :) I just tell him what's going on and he is understanding and helps out with the kids a lot.... especially when one or more of them are driving me crazy and I need to step away for a minute so I won't lose my cool. That happened tonight with my 5 year old. It seemed she was on a mission all afternoon to push every button I have to make me angry... yikes! After my husband was home and everyone ate supper, she did one more thing... and that one more thing made me want to scream and yell and slam doors and basically throw a two year old fit... but I didn't. Instead I looked and my husband, gave him a "look", and simply said "I can't." Well, he knows me and is wonderful, so he went in and dealt with her (made her clean up the food she had purposely spread all over the floor) and I had a "time out" in my bedroom :-) After a few minutes in my room I was okay again and re-joined the family :-)

So... that's my life right now :-) Pray my mood will get better quickly, please! My family will thank you - ha!

Back to School Blues

I've been such a bad blogger lately! Sooo sorry!! I promise to do better :-)

I'm in a blunt and honest mood, so please keep that in mind when reading this post :) Thanks!

I'm saddened by the fact that so many parents can't wait till their kids go back to school. I do understand the desire for a normal schedule and routine... I get that... but when parents make comments about their kids driving them crazy and that they "can't wait" till school starts back... it makes me sad :( Don't get me wrong... there are days when I want to send all my kids away... we all have those days! So, I am not talking about the mom that makes a hasty statement on a bad day. It's just the permeating attitude of our society that it's such a wonderful thing for our kids to be away from us all day long. I don't like it :(

My kids go to school and we have wonderful teachers!! My babies are in good hands :) I am so thankful for that and feel truly blessed that I can rest easy they will be well taken care of. But I miss them. I LOVE my summers with my kids. LOVE them. I am sad when the summer is over. And I'm not the over-protective, hovering type Mama. I'm not that at all. I just enjoy my kids. They have their moments... they are imperfect humans... but the good far outweighs the bad. They are truly awesome, wonderful, special people! So, I miss them when they aren't here.

The thing that really gets me is that it feels so inconsistent for me to send them to school when I don't know the teachers. I mean, I wouldn't let my kids go to a friend's home where I didn't know the parents at all... not even for a short time... I wouldn't. I would take time to get to know the parents first. If I were to send them to a stranger's home for eight hours a day I'd be considered a bad parent. But it's perfectly fine for me to send them into a stranger's classroom for that same period of time? It just doesn't make sense.

So... what to do? For me, the solution is to get to know the teachers!! At my kids' elementary school I was a PTO officer for a couple years and during that time really got to know them... and they know me. They know I am an involved parent and I know that they are caring, involved teachers. I haven't had any trouble getting to know any of my children's teachers... all I had to do was make an effort.

I've talked a lot on my facebook page about being stressed about my son starting middle school. This is why. I don't know those teachers very well. But last night I went to open house and met them all... and you know what? With a little effort I got to know them some... I know that one of the teachers student taught at a school I used to be secretary at... and I know that one of the teachers has a sibling with 10 kids.... and I know that one of the teachers used to teach my nephew.... and one of the teachers is married to someone I know... and on and on... I showed an interest in them and they shared about part of their lives with me.

I realize this comparison isn't an exact comparison... I realize there is more accountability in a classroom than there is in someone's home... I realize that. It just still feels wrong to me to let a stranger be with my children that much. So, I make sure they are not strangers to me :-)

Okay... enough for my honest, blunt moment. My kids started school today. Can you tell? :-)

My "Business Trip"

My Grandfather who I posted about before died within a week of his stroke. He is with Jesus now, so even though we are sad to say "goodbye for now," we are comforted by the fact that he is in a better place.

The service was in Wisconsin and I wanted to go, so the best option for my family logistically was for me to drive there while my husband took off from work and stayed home with the kids. My husband goes on a few business trips a year, so we kind of joked that this was my "business trip".

It went really well!! I stayed with friends and family along the way and was able catch up with people I hadn't seen in a while :) It was nice. It was a LOT of driving, but worth it. When I arrived in Wisconsin I went to my grandfather's apartment where everyone was going through pictures and papers... a LOT had been done by my Uncle before I got there... I know it had to have been very overwhelming for him.

It was really neat, though... my grandfather kept a file on all his kids and grandchildren. He printed out emails we sent him to put in our file and kept the cards we sent him... so each of us was able to look through our file and remember different special times we shared with him. It was really special :) Even though it was a sad time, it was really a sweet time of reminiscing with my sister and my uncle.

The service went really well. My Grandpa was a fascinating man. He was a veteran and was awarded both the silver star and the bronze star during his service to our country. He was also an engineer that designed a pretty famous bridge in Tennessee. He was also a published songwriter (very talented!). It was special to hear about the little things he did for his neighbors and people in his town. He was truly a special and amazing man. My uncle was presented a flag in honor of my grandfather's military service. It was emotional, but it was truly a sweet and special service.

I had a minor incident during my trip home in the form of an allergic reaction to something. I am not sure what caused it... we think it may have been some fresh basil, but that doesn't make a lot of sense because I cook with basil... but it's not fresh. I don't know.. it's weird.. my eyes swelled all up and were itchy and runny. I also broke out in hives. Benadryl helped, but made me sleepy, so the last day of travel was long. I made it home safe and sound, though :)

My husband is amazing!!! He did a great job taking care of all 5 kids :) He is such a capable and "hands on" dad... that's one of my favorite things about him :) He even got the older three all ready for a swimming party and got them there on time.... and he got everyone to church both Sunday morning and Sunday night. The house was picked up when I got home and it was nice to sit down and relax and be with my family. I missed them!! And I think they missed me too :)

We have wonderful friends that really stepped up and helped out and supported us. My husband didn't have to worry about cooking because several friends brought food for him and the kids (yummy food too!). I know we were prayed for a LOT... and I had a lot of people checking on me. It was easier to be away from my family knowing that there were so many people here that would step in and help if my husband needed them. We even had someone stock our fridge and pantry the day I was coming home so I wouldn't have to worry about grocery shopping. Truly a blessing!

It's inspiring to me when brothers and sisters in Christ step up and help each other during hard and stressful times.

So... it was a long week... it had ups and downs.. it was emotional and inspiring and encouraging. There is absolutely no way around the fact that I am an abundantly blessed woman.