Back to School Blues

I've been such a bad blogger lately! Sooo sorry!! I promise to do better :-)

I'm in a blunt and honest mood, so please keep that in mind when reading this post :) Thanks!

I'm saddened by the fact that so many parents can't wait till their kids go back to school. I do understand the desire for a normal schedule and routine... I get that... but when parents make comments about their kids driving them crazy and that they "can't wait" till school starts back... it makes me sad :( Don't get me wrong... there are days when I want to send all my kids away... we all have those days! So, I am not talking about the mom that makes a hasty statement on a bad day. It's just the permeating attitude of our society that it's such a wonderful thing for our kids to be away from us all day long. I don't like it :(

My kids go to school and we have wonderful teachers!! My babies are in good hands :) I am so thankful for that and feel truly blessed that I can rest easy they will be well taken care of. But I miss them. I LOVE my summers with my kids. LOVE them. I am sad when the summer is over. And I'm not the over-protective, hovering type Mama. I'm not that at all. I just enjoy my kids. They have their moments... they are imperfect humans... but the good far outweighs the bad. They are truly awesome, wonderful, special people! So, I miss them when they aren't here.

The thing that really gets me is that it feels so inconsistent for me to send them to school when I don't know the teachers. I mean, I wouldn't let my kids go to a friend's home where I didn't know the parents at all... not even for a short time... I wouldn't. I would take time to get to know the parents first. If I were to send them to a stranger's home for eight hours a day I'd be considered a bad parent. But it's perfectly fine for me to send them into a stranger's classroom for that same period of time? It just doesn't make sense.

So... what to do? For me, the solution is to get to know the teachers!! At my kids' elementary school I was a PTO officer for a couple years and during that time really got to know them... and they know me. They know I am an involved parent and I know that they are caring, involved teachers. I haven't had any trouble getting to know any of my children's teachers... all I had to do was make an effort.

I've talked a lot on my facebook page about being stressed about my son starting middle school. This is why. I don't know those teachers very well. But last night I went to open house and met them all... and you know what? With a little effort I got to know them some... I know that one of the teachers student taught at a school I used to be secretary at... and I know that one of the teachers has a sibling with 10 kids.... and I know that one of the teachers used to teach my nephew.... and one of the teachers is married to someone I know... and on and on... I showed an interest in them and they shared about part of their lives with me.

I realize this comparison isn't an exact comparison... I realize there is more accountability in a classroom than there is in someone's home... I realize that. It just still feels wrong to me to let a stranger be with my children that much. So, I make sure they are not strangers to me :-)

Okay... enough for my honest, blunt moment. My kids started school today. Can you tell? :-)

My "Business Trip"

My Grandfather who I posted about before died within a week of his stroke. He is with Jesus now, so even though we are sad to say "goodbye for now," we are comforted by the fact that he is in a better place.

The service was in Wisconsin and I wanted to go, so the best option for my family logistically was for me to drive there while my husband took off from work and stayed home with the kids. My husband goes on a few business trips a year, so we kind of joked that this was my "business trip".

It went really well!! I stayed with friends and family along the way and was able catch up with people I hadn't seen in a while :) It was nice. It was a LOT of driving, but worth it. When I arrived in Wisconsin I went to my grandfather's apartment where everyone was going through pictures and papers... a LOT had been done by my Uncle before I got there... I know it had to have been very overwhelming for him.

It was really neat, though... my grandfather kept a file on all his kids and grandchildren. He printed out emails we sent him to put in our file and kept the cards we sent him... so each of us was able to look through our file and remember different special times we shared with him. It was really special :) Even though it was a sad time, it was really a sweet time of reminiscing with my sister and my uncle.

The service went really well. My Grandpa was a fascinating man. He was a veteran and was awarded both the silver star and the bronze star during his service to our country. He was also an engineer that designed a pretty famous bridge in Tennessee. He was also a published songwriter (very talented!). It was special to hear about the little things he did for his neighbors and people in his town. He was truly a special and amazing man. My uncle was presented a flag in honor of my grandfather's military service. It was emotional, but it was truly a sweet and special service.

I had a minor incident during my trip home in the form of an allergic reaction to something. I am not sure what caused it... we think it may have been some fresh basil, but that doesn't make a lot of sense because I cook with basil... but it's not fresh. I don't know.. it's weird.. my eyes swelled all up and were itchy and runny. I also broke out in hives. Benadryl helped, but made me sleepy, so the last day of travel was long. I made it home safe and sound, though :)

My husband is amazing!!! He did a great job taking care of all 5 kids :) He is such a capable and "hands on" dad... that's one of my favorite things about him :) He even got the older three all ready for a swimming party and got them there on time.... and he got everyone to church both Sunday morning and Sunday night. The house was picked up when I got home and it was nice to sit down and relax and be with my family. I missed them!! And I think they missed me too :)

We have wonderful friends that really stepped up and helped out and supported us. My husband didn't have to worry about cooking because several friends brought food for him and the kids (yummy food too!). I know we were prayed for a LOT... and I had a lot of people checking on me. It was easier to be away from my family knowing that there were so many people here that would step in and help if my husband needed them. We even had someone stock our fridge and pantry the day I was coming home so I wouldn't have to worry about grocery shopping. Truly a blessing!

It's inspiring to me when brothers and sisters in Christ step up and help each other during hard and stressful times.

So... it was a long week... it had ups and downs.. it was emotional and inspiring and encouraging. There is absolutely no way around the fact that I am an abundantly blessed woman.

Do I Work?????

What is the deal with people asking me if I "work"? That question really makes me want to laugh out loud... seriously, I just want to bust out laughing when someone asks me that!! Some people ask, "Do you work outside the home?"... I like that question better.

I do understand what people mean when they ask me "Do you work?", and I do realize that most people mean nothing ugly when they ask that question. I suppose that's why I find it funny rather than angering. I do know people who get angry when asked that question, but I'm not angry... just entertained :-)

This question is so entertaining because "not working" is the hardest job I've ever had. And I've had my share of jobs :) Let's see... I worked maintenance at a golf course (mowing grass, etc), I was an office manager, a school secretary, a waitress, I wrote financial reports, and I worked admin in the Marine Corps. I think that's it...

But being a stay at home mom is by far the most difficult of all my jobs. I realize this may not be true of some people... there are some people out there that would find waitressing harder than being a homemaker... I'm just not one of them :-)

It's not hard to pick up after five kids all day... frustrating at times :) but not hard. It's not hard to do incredible amounts of laundry or to cook lots of food or to keep up with the schedule or homework for everyone. Some of it can get overwhelming at times, but it's not "hard", exactly.

The "hard" part is that it is unending. There are no breaks, mentally at least. My babies do not go to preschool, so I am "on duty" all day, every day. There is no lunch hour or chatting with fellow employees... there is no "leaving" work at the end of the day. Most of the time when I leave the house it is to grocery shop or go to playgroup or to a doctor appointment. And when I do leave the house for some "me time" (once a month, maybe?), either I have left after everyone is in bed... or my mind is on whether my husband is okay with everyone or not (thankfully, he is amazing, and is usually just fine). And if I have a doctor appointment for myself, it gets even more frustrating... either I have to take kids with me to my appointments or I have to chase down friends who already have enough on their plate that are able and willing to help me. The other thing that I find very difficult is doing the same thing over and over and over again. I'm not cut out for that kind of "work". But there is a lot of that kind of work in my current "job".

Some people think I am online a lot, and I am. Most days my time on facebook is the sum total of my time "talking" with other grown ups. And most days I get interrupted while doing that. It's the way I keep up with my friends and is my "outlet". It is also where I do most of my "ministering" to others... encouraging people and letting them know I am praying for them. But a lot of the time there is a child asking for something or crying outside my door while I'm on here.

Now, the last couple paragraphs probably sound like I am complaining, don't they? Well, I'm not. :-) I'm just being honest.

Most stay at home moms I know (including myself) would say that the benefits far outweigh the difficulty and that it is worth it. And that's true :) I do have to say, though, that a lot of times the benefits are ones that cannot be described or measured. They are also benefits that don't necessarily make the hard parts easier. The hard parts are still hard... they are just worth it. Watching my 2 year old make his baby brother laugh hysterically doesn't make cleaning up over and over again any easier, but it does make it worth it.

I hear a lot about staying home with your kids being a sacrifice... and they usually mean a financial sacrifice. There are a lot of "things" I don't have... but I am not a "things" person, so I really don't mind that part of it. I'm not saying I never want certain things, because I do... but most of the time I get over it relatively quickly. For me, the part that is a sacrifice is more complicated. To be able to run to the store at 10am for milk without having to pack up diaper bags... or to be able to sit and talk with other adults without being interrupted to take a child to the bathroom or change a diaper... or to be able to take an hour "off" from work to go for my annual "girl" doc appointment rather than have to move heaven and earth to find someone to watch my kids... I suppose I feel like I am sacrificing some freedom? Maybe that's the word I'm looking for? Maybe not? Maybe it's convenience? Not sure...

I have been interrupted like 12 times while writing this post... and I'm realizing I'm saying way more than I intended and now I'm debating deleting half of it and starting over... ha!

But I think I'm going to leave it... maybe it will help someone... maybe not. I do feel the need, however, to add that while being a stay at home mom is the hardest job I have ever had... it is also, by far, the most rewarding. I wouldn't trade it :-) As hard as it may be to believe after reading this... I LOVE my life!!!

So, yes, I work :-) And that's all I've got to say about that ;-) For now, anyway!

My Grandpa

Sorry it's been so long since my last post! My posts normally happen closer together :)

I got word yesterday that my Grandpa who lives in Wisconsin had a massive stroke. My Uncle who lives in South Carolina flew there today and is with him now. It doesn't look good. The doctors say it's only a matter of time before he dies. My Uncle is having to make decisions and is facing the prospect of watching his father die. Please pray for both my Uncle and my Grandpa.

Most people expect to lose their grandparents and even their parents in their lifetime. It's a hard thing, but it is an expected thing. But we never really know when any of our loved ones will leave us... young or old... healthy or not.

I am reminded to let those I love know that I love them... to call more... to hug more... to laugh and cry with them more.... appreciate more... to just do more.

4th of July Plans

We are excited that we are going to have a "just us" family time weekend for the 4th of July :-) It seems we are always so busy with birthday parties for kids or church functions or my husband's quartet concerts that we rarely have a weekend to ourselves as a family. When we do have a weekend to ourselves we usually waste it by being lazy or spend it doing yardwork or laundry. Well... not this weekend!

I decided to plan for the weekend as if we were having company... great food and fun times! Except it will be just us... and I'm so excited!! :-)

Our weekend activities include:

--Yummy food! We will be making homemade ice cream that tastes like a Wendy's frosty :) I will also be making a coconut cake (a favorite around here!). We will be grilling out some BBQ ribs for the first time which should prove interesting. We will also be having corn on the cob, my "fancy" sweet and sour green beans, and watermelon (of course!). Yummy!!!

--Fireworks! We will buy some and do them in our driveway :-) We live in the county so it's allowed. My two year old gets a little freaked out, but we have a good time.

--Camping! Well, sort of... We put the tent up (or make a fort) in the living room and have fun snacks, talk, and laugh :-) Then we let the kids watch a movie in there and stay up later than normal. My hubby and I sleep in our own bed... it's more comfortable!

--Water fun! We don't have a pool, but that doesn't slow us down! We have a slip n slide and a fun sprinkler and a kiddie pool... we also have a trampoline :-) Back yard fun!

So, I hope all of you will be having a fun 4th of July! We surely will!

The Reality....

Well, the reality of VBS wasn't as bad as I thought it would be :-)

If you read my last post, you know that I was dreading certain parts of VBS.... today was the first day so I thought I'd give an update.

The decorating wasn't that bad.... there are some people who go over the top with decorating their rooms, and that is wonderful because they really enjoy that part of it... but I'm not one of those people, so once I let go of the fact that my room just isn't going to look like those rooms... I was good :-) A sweet friend from church (the "go to girl"... you know who you are!) helped me get it all set up. We kept it very simple and were done quickly and were even able to help out the VBS director a good bit Sunday afternoon since the room was finished. And you know what? The kids in my class had no complaints about our room :-) Yay!

Then there was my concern over discipline issues I might have in my class. The last time I taught a VBS class there were a couple of children in there that were incredibly difficult (one of them hit me!) and that had me worried the same thing would happen again. But it didn't :-) I had 8 kids today and they were all very sweet kids. There was one child who tried to talk while I was talking some, but I can handle that :-) I also had a different helper during class time who is someone I didn't know very well but had the opportunity to get to know better today... and I love that! She helped out a lot! :-)

I'm still out of my comfort zone, but it's good to get outside our comfort zone occasionally. I learned a lot today about how long it would take to do activities.... I thought the activities would take longer than they did, so I can adjust the plan for the rest of the week based on what I learned today.

I could use prayer that I get some sleep :-) I've been having trouble sleeping and it would be a lot easier to be energetic with these children if I were rested. Other than that I am optimistic that this week will be a good one :-)

Good night! Gotta head back to Saddle Ridge Ranch in the morning! :-)

Honesty time...

I'm not sure how to say what I want to say without sounding like a terrible person but I'm going to say it anyway.

At first I was hesitant to post this because I didn't want people to misunderstand, but then I got to thinking and really the way I feel isn't as "out there" as I originally thought it was.

I've agreed to be a VBS teacher this summer.. and I must admit that my feelings are very mixed. I feel both excitement and dread and the same time. Yes, dread. That sounds terrible! But then I got to thinking... when teachers go back to school after the summer I hear them talking about dreading it... and these are people who love teaching. I hear people who go on vacation talking about dreading coming home but they love their lives. Then there are people who love their jobs but dread certain parts of it... like police officers that dread paperwork or accountants that dread tax season. So, I no longer feel *as* bad about the dread part of my feelings.

As far as VBS goes, I love studying the lessons and coming up with fun activities to do with the kids :) And I usually come up with my own fun activities rather than use the ones in the material just because I enjoy letting my creative juices flow :-) I love watching the looks on the kids faces when they learn something new or are excited and having fun. I enjoy teaching the material. Those are the parts I am excited about :-)

Then there are the parts I dread. The decorating of the room and the herding of the kids from place to place and dealing with discipline problems and children not listening... those are the parts that I dread.

People assume that because I have a lot of children that I must love working with kids. But I don't. I don't love it. That sounds absolutely TERRIBLE. I know it does. But it's true. I LOVE teenagers and I LOVE working with women and I could go on... there are many things that I love doing. Things that God has gifted me in and things that I look forward to and get almost giddy about. Working with classrooms full of children just isn't one of those things. People tend to either think I'm kidding or I'm awful when I say that... oh, well.

Now, don't get me wrong.... the kids that are in my VBS class will have a BLAST! They will have a great time because I will be energetic and I will be fun and I will see to it that they LOVE being at Bible School :-)

And by the end of the week I will adore the kids in my class... but I will also be glad the week is over.

There I go with the mixed feelings again.... :-)