Saturday, July 10, 2010

Do I Work?????

What is the deal with people asking me if I "work"? That question really makes me want to laugh out loud... seriously, I just want to bust out laughing when someone asks me that!! Some people ask, "Do you work outside the home?"... I like that question better.

I do understand what people mean when they ask me "Do you work?", and I do realize that most people mean nothing ugly when they ask that question. I suppose that's why I find it funny rather than angering. I do know people who get angry when asked that question, but I'm not angry... just entertained :-)

This question is so entertaining because "not working" is the hardest job I've ever had. And I've had my share of jobs :) Let's see... I worked maintenance at a golf course (mowing grass, etc), I was an office manager, a school secretary, a waitress, I wrote financial reports, and I worked admin in the Marine Corps. I think that's it...

But being a stay at home mom is by far the most difficult of all my jobs. I realize this may not be true of some people... there are some people out there that would find waitressing harder than being a homemaker... I'm just not one of them :-)

It's not hard to pick up after five kids all day... frustrating at times :) but not hard. It's not hard to do incredible amounts of laundry or to cook lots of food or to keep up with the schedule or homework for everyone. Some of it can get overwhelming at times, but it's not "hard", exactly.

The "hard" part is that it is unending. There are no breaks, mentally at least. My babies do not go to preschool, so I am "on duty" all day, every day. There is no lunch hour or chatting with fellow employees... there is no "leaving" work at the end of the day. Most of the time when I leave the house it is to grocery shop or go to playgroup or to a doctor appointment. And when I do leave the house for some "me time" (once a month, maybe?), either I have left after everyone is in bed... or my mind is on whether my husband is okay with everyone or not (thankfully, he is amazing, and is usually just fine). And if I have a doctor appointment for myself, it gets even more frustrating... either I have to take kids with me to my appointments or I have to chase down friends who already have enough on their plate that are able and willing to help me. The other thing that I find very difficult is doing the same thing over and over and over again. I'm not cut out for that kind of "work". But there is a lot of that kind of work in my current "job".

Some people think I am online a lot, and I am. Most days my time on facebook is the sum total of my time "talking" with other grown ups. And most days I get interrupted while doing that. It's the way I keep up with my friends and is my "outlet". It is also where I do most of my "ministering" to others... encouraging people and letting them know I am praying for them. But a lot of the time there is a child asking for something or crying outside my door while I'm on here.

Now, the last couple paragraphs probably sound like I am complaining, don't they? Well, I'm not. :-) I'm just being honest.

Most stay at home moms I know (including myself) would say that the benefits far outweigh the difficulty and that it is worth it. And that's true :) I do have to say, though, that a lot of times the benefits are ones that cannot be described or measured. They are also benefits that don't necessarily make the hard parts easier. The hard parts are still hard... they are just worth it. Watching my 2 year old make his baby brother laugh hysterically doesn't make cleaning up over and over again any easier, but it does make it worth it.

I hear a lot about staying home with your kids being a sacrifice... and they usually mean a financial sacrifice. There are a lot of "things" I don't have... but I am not a "things" person, so I really don't mind that part of it. I'm not saying I never want certain things, because I do... but most of the time I get over it relatively quickly. For me, the part that is a sacrifice is more complicated. To be able to run to the store at 10am for milk without having to pack up diaper bags... or to be able to sit and talk with other adults without being interrupted to take a child to the bathroom or change a diaper... or to be able to take an hour "off" from work to go for my annual "girl" doc appointment rather than have to move heaven and earth to find someone to watch my kids... I suppose I feel like I am sacrificing some freedom? Maybe that's the word I'm looking for? Maybe not? Maybe it's convenience? Not sure...

I have been interrupted like 12 times while writing this post... and I'm realizing I'm saying way more than I intended and now I'm debating deleting half of it and starting over... ha!

But I think I'm going to leave it... maybe it will help someone... maybe not. I do feel the need, however, to add that while being a stay at home mom is the hardest job I have ever had... it is also, by far, the most rewarding. I wouldn't trade it :-) As hard as it may be to believe after reading this... I LOVE my life!!!

So, yes, I work :-) And that's all I've got to say about that ;-) For now, anyway!

1 comment:

  1. Through the years when I wasn't "working", my response was always the same. "Of course I work, I just don't draw a salary." It's far more effective with a smile.

    Enjoy this time in your life, Juliet. One day, sooner than you might expect, it will all be a mere memory.

    Blessings~
    Cha

    ReplyDelete