Friday, June 18, 2010

Honesty time...

I'm not sure how to say what I want to say without sounding like a terrible person but I'm going to say it anyway.

At first I was hesitant to post this because I didn't want people to misunderstand, but then I got to thinking and really the way I feel isn't as "out there" as I originally thought it was.

I've agreed to be a VBS teacher this summer.. and I must admit that my feelings are very mixed. I feel both excitement and dread and the same time. Yes, dread. That sounds terrible! But then I got to thinking... when teachers go back to school after the summer I hear them talking about dreading it... and these are people who love teaching. I hear people who go on vacation talking about dreading coming home but they love their lives. Then there are people who love their jobs but dread certain parts of it... like police officers that dread paperwork or accountants that dread tax season. So, I no longer feel *as* bad about the dread part of my feelings.

As far as VBS goes, I love studying the lessons and coming up with fun activities to do with the kids :) And I usually come up with my own fun activities rather than use the ones in the material just because I enjoy letting my creative juices flow :-) I love watching the looks on the kids faces when they learn something new or are excited and having fun. I enjoy teaching the material. Those are the parts I am excited about :-)

Then there are the parts I dread. The decorating of the room and the herding of the kids from place to place and dealing with discipline problems and children not listening... those are the parts that I dread.

People assume that because I have a lot of children that I must love working with kids. But I don't. I don't love it. That sounds absolutely TERRIBLE. I know it does. But it's true. I LOVE teenagers and I LOVE working with women and I could go on... there are many things that I love doing. Things that God has gifted me in and things that I look forward to and get almost giddy about. Working with classrooms full of children just isn't one of those things. People tend to either think I'm kidding or I'm awful when I say that... oh, well.

Now, don't get me wrong.... the kids that are in my VBS class will have a BLAST! They will have a great time because I will be energetic and I will be fun and I will see to it that they LOVE being at Bible School :-)

And by the end of the week I will adore the kids in my class... but I will also be glad the week is over.

There I go with the mixed feelings again.... :-)

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