I'm sure that someone comes to your mind... right? I have a couple people in my mind right now as I write this. I can admit it! ;-) Maybe you are one of these people? Hmmmm.....
The thing that most people feel free to tell me is that I shouldn't have any more kids. Usually it's either that or it's that I am too strict or expect too much out of my children. Whatever. If you feel that way, then that's your opinion and that's fine. But why is it okay for you to tell me that, but it's not okay for me to tell you that I think you let your daughter dress too provocatively or that I think you are more concerned with your child's happiness than insuring they grow into healthy, productive adults?
I could not imagine just out of the blue telling someone (either stranger or acquaintance) that they are doing something wrong just because I don't agree with them. Don't get me wrong, if someone asks my opinion I will be honest... and if I am close friends with someone and am concerned about something they are doing I will pray about whether to talk to them and will say something if that's what I feel is right. But only if there is relationship there... if I know where they are coming from and what their life is like. And I have had friends and family express concern to me about things... and I am so thankful I have people in my life who love me enough to be concerned about me.
Obviously this doesn't always apply... if I saw someone leave their baby in a hot car... um... I don't care who they are, I will say something. There are times when it is fully necessary and right to stick our noses in other people's business.
Maybe some people just don't have that discernment? Maybe they think the fact that my kids have chores is an emergency of utmost importance and they *have* to say something? I don't know... but I do know that it bugs me.
There is a part of me that wants to call these people out on it. If they say "You really should stop having kids" for me to say "You really should wear modest clothes" or "And that is your business why?". Occasionally I do... but mostly I don't... mostly I smile and nod and walk away. How I respond usually depends on my mood. But I'm thinking I'm going to be in the mood to say something more often... because this particular inconsistency is driving me a little nuts lately :-)
Makes me upset too! Sometimes I wish I could think quick enough to have a smart comeback to people's stupidity but, on the other hand,
ReplyDeletei guess I'm glad I can't.....have to repent for enough things already! lol!
BTW, I think the tough love and chores are doing a great job....don't know your girls as well but your son is a jewel!
.....and someone please explain to me when it became not ok to teach responsibility and ok to consider our children's happiness above their character? (think i smell a post coming up for me once the garage sale smoke clears! ;p)
I can't wait to read that post! That issue has been on my mind a lot lately! I've had several conversations that were very thought provoking for me in the area of teaching my children responsibility and the fact that a lot of parents don't do that. So many parents care only about their children's happiness in the moment, but that only leads to a lot of unhappiness later. Yep :) You writing a post is definitely warranted :-)
ReplyDeleteJuliet--although i have never met you I have to commend you 100%! The job you seem to be doing with your children is outstanding! If more mothers would teach responsiblity and caring for others instead of "the world revolves around you" we might have a better future to look forward to! It is obvious that these "busy-bodies" were also never taught to consider others feelings before making a comment! I can not imagine telling someone that they should not have anymore children! How RUDE can someone be?? But I think you comment with "and it's your businees why?" is totally appropriate! I read and try to remember the best comment when someone ask a questioin or makes a comment that is none of their business is to say something like that or "and why do you need to know that?" So I always try to remember that and just leave them hanging because the way I see it--if they do not contribute to my household it is not their business!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! Your comment is such an encouragement to me :-)
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