How do I do it?

One of the questions I am asked a lot is "How do you do it with all those kids?". Most of the time people are really making a statement and not actually asking me a question. The rough translation is "Girl, I think you're crazy. There is no way I could handle all those kids."... or that is what I have found people really mean when they ask me this question :-)

But some people are genuinely asking me for tips or pointers on how to manage a home with a lot of children. First, I must say that I do NOT have this all figured out and that I am continually seeking God and re-evaluating what I can do to improve my home. This is a journey that is ever-changing, for sure!!!

One thing that really helps in our home is chores. Grrr... that's an ugly word, but it really works! I believe chores teach children responsibility, and when they are paid it provides them an opportunity to begin learning how to handle money.

There are countless ways to organize chores for a home and what works for one home may not work for another home. I suggest trying different things until you find what works best for your home.

Here's how we do it:

Each of my older three children (the 2 year old and 7mo old aren't included yet!) have a folder (just a regular folder with pockets and brads). Inside this folder are multiple pages with each child's list of chores for each day of the week that are three hole punched. After the child completes a chore, they highlight it. If you want more details on this, all you have to do is ask :-)

Now, what chores do I have my children do, you ask?

First, each child is expected to pick up after themselves and keep their rooms picked up. They are not paid for these things... that's just part of being a member of our family. The deal here... if they don't do these things, they will NOT get paid for their paid chores even if they do them.

Our current list of paid chores for each child....

9 year old boy:

Daily - scoop cat litter box, feed all pets except the rabbit, fix school lunches, gather all the trash from smaller trash cans and take it out to carport trash can.

Weekly - completely empty and hose out litter box and add new litter (this is really done as needed... it's not always every week)

6 year old girl:

Daily - feed rabbit, clean bathroom counters, mirrors, sinks, and inside toilets (the 9 year old boy will be called in if we feel it necessary for him to clean the outside of the toilets.... that's part of cleaning up after yourself ;)

Weekly - completely clean out rabbit cage

4 year old girl:

Daily - clear table after breakfast and supper, wipe down table and counters after supper

Weekly - clean out the van (not vacuming, just gathering the "stuff" that accumulates, bringing it in the house and putting it away)

The weekly chores are done on Wednesday because our kids get out of school early that day. On Sundays they just do the bare minimum (feeding the animals).

How much do I pay? I'm not as organized on this as I could be, but what we are doing now is what works for us. The school is always sending home notes that there is a concession stand day or to bring a dollar for this or that. So, when I get one of those notes, I pull out that child's folder and decide whether they can have money for it or not. This is a huge motivator for them. Each child usually tests me once per school year and when they have to miss out, they stick to the chore list from then on out. In addition to that I give them each a dollar a week. This is the money they give and save from. I should also say that if they choose not to spend the money for the school things and keep it for something else, they are free to do that.

I can hear you thinking... how do you know they are actually DOING the chores and not just highlighting them? During "chore time" I am around, usually working on supper in the kitchen which is where we keep the folders. I know about how long it takes to accomplish chores, so if I get suspicious I check behind them. They will occasionally get lazy and not do their chore well enough.... when that happens I have them re-do it.

This is HUGE in keeping the house decent (I say decent because I'm not a great housekeeper... my home is rarely immaculate... that's just not how I am.) One thing that is KEY... when I introduce a new chore to a child, I do it alongside them for a long while so they learn it well. Then I will have them do it while I am there talking them through it for a short while. I can't expect my children to be able to do something if I haven't taught them well.

One other HUGE thing in accomplishing this... my children are not allowed electronics time (TV, video games, computer games) at all on Mon-Thurs. It interferes with homework time and family time. Very occasionally we will sit down and watch Wheel of Fortune as a family, but that is rare. This policy just really helps our home.

And for those of you who may think I ask too much of my children..... Well, I was told this not long ago by a family member. That I give them too many chores and am expecting too much. When I get criticism like that I try my best not to get defensive and really evaluate if they are right or not. (Even though I'm thinking... "you are SO wrong!"...just being honest!) So, I decided to time them.... see exactly how much I was expecting. My 9 year old took the longest.... a whopping 20 minutes!!! Whoah! Okay, so I'm not asking too much. I feel better :-)

Okay, that's it :-) Hope it helps somebody!