Just ask!

So, if someone wants to know something about you... don't you want them to just ask you? I mean, when someone is curious about something they tend to go everywhere but the source to find out details. Why is that?

Where did "do unto other" go when it comes to finding out info about other people? Do we think we can get better info or more info on someone if we ask their friends or family rather than the person themselves? Are we worried they will somehow be mean or reject us and refuse to tell us? Are we worried about looking bad or gossipy by asking them? What's the deal?

I've been SO guilty of this at times myself. But I have resolved to stop it. Why? Because I don't like it when people do this to me, that's why. If you want to know something about me... ask me! Those who know me well, know I will be honest... sometimes too honest ;)

Sometimes we do this because we are just being gossipy and want to be "in the know". But sometimes I think we do this because we are unsure if the person wants to talk about it and we don't want to upset them. But, from my experience, most people DO want to talk about these issues in their lives and by not going to them directly it makes them think we don't care.

For example, I have a dear friend who has been trying to have a baby for 8 years now. She and her husband have also put in an application for adoption. We are very close and she has shared with me that it bothers her nobody asks her how she is doing with it. In the beginning of trying there were a few people who would ask her when she is going to have another baby (they have a 9 year old) but over time the word spread they were having trouble so people stopped asking her about it. I don't know why we withdraw from people in these situations, but we do. I am close friends with her, so people as me about her trying to have a baby instead of asking her. It's not that people don't care... it's that somehow they are uncomfortable going straight to the person who is struggling with something. And I get that... I do.

But if you were struggling with something, what would you want? I would want people to come to me. I would want to know people are praying for me and care about me. I'd rather them come straight to me than go to my friends.

I realize that some people need more space than I do. And that some people may tell you it's none of your business or be mean if you go straight to them about an issue in their lives. But isn't it worth the risk? Because sometimes... just sometimes... if you go straight to the person, you will be able to brighten their day and touch their lives in a way you may never realize.

So, watch out!!! If I get curious about something in your life... I'm not going to people around you... I'm coming straight to you :-) And if you want to know something about me... just ask! :-)